Newt (I have a Brinks' truck to haul around my wife's jewellery, and yes, I might be looking around for an even younger wife and 84 ethics charges were filed while Speaker of the House and fined $300,000 and set a high bar as some folks say by being the first Speaker of the House to be reprimanded for ethics violations) Gingrich.
Herman (9-9-9, yes, I'm a Baptist preacher and God told me to run, we better watch out for China as they are trying to develop atomic bombs, Yes Honey, been meaning to mention to you that for the past 13 years I've been poking a babe and giving her money) Cain.
Rick (hey, I'm Catholic with seven kids and proud of it, and I'm responsible for all the legislation that's been passed in the last 100 years) Santorum.
Rick (I'm embarrassing myself and don't know it and Romney is hiring illegals and dang we need to pray more) Perry.
Michele (no those aren't my eye lashes and yes my husband prays away the gay in his counseling business) Bachmann.
Mitt (yes, I've been a successful business man and wear weird underwear) Romney.
John (I speak Chinese and also wear weird underwear) Huntsman.
Congressman Ron Paul, an interesting fellow who has some interesting ideas and tells it like he sees it and, no he will not be running against President Obama.
Just when you think it couldn't get better...it will. Yes, Donald Trump is going to be the moderator at a debate scheduled for December 27, 2011. Yes, that's what's being reported in the press.
Also, reported that Governor Huntsman said, Fuck you, I'm not going to participate (or, something like that). Kudos Governor.
Now, how could this get any better? Ah, two ways.
Have good old Sarah jump back in the fray and show-up...or, everyone tell Trump to fuck off except for Governor Perry. Ahh.....so many possibilities. So much potential.
Well, Herman Cain had his press conference. Wow, was it interesting. I didn't take notes, but as I best remember, here's how it went.
Cain, wasn't in attendance when it started. I think the first speaker was an aide or someone who is part of his campaign. Yep, glowing reports about old Herman.
Up next I think was an army colonel who has a bronze star...he spoke of Herman's friendship and he reiterated that Herman is most likely the greatest guy ever.
Next, a female related to MLK, Jr. Yep, a minster. After she poured it on, praising Cain, she then had a...prayer (wow, surprised at that one).
Then, there was some kind of rock music or something, and lo and behold, the old Herman Cain for President bus pulled up (added a little drama, hey?) and out came Cain, his wife, and about 7,000 gigantic body guards.
Ah, Herman gets on the stage and talks about having made peace...no that maybe wasn't the word...but intimating that everything is fine with his relationship with his wife, family, and yes, good old God.
He then went on and on about America and so on.... Then, announced he's suspending his run for president and going to plan B. Yeah, I know, sort of a let down.
Plan B is that he's going to make changes from outside the government, blah, blah, blah.
Hmmm. Now, if everything is so great with your wife, family, and God...why have you quit? Now, obviously I have no idea whether Cain did what he's accused of doing. I have no idea if Cain did poke the babe for thirteen years and yes, I know that because two things happen at the same time doesn't mean there's causation...but, folks, he was raring to go after the office of president until Ms. Ginger came along.
Well, a couple of comments. One, Cain mentioned that only in America could someone from his humble beginnings end up running for president. I think that he mentioned his mom worked as a maid and his dad also had a somewhat similar job. Of course, he made no mention of the fact that he's most likely worth many millions of dollars. Of course, it also allowed someone to run for president, who in theory at least, would have their hand on the Red Phone and didn't know that China has nuclear weapons.
Maybe there should be an SAT-type test that all candidates must pass before being allowed to run. You know, some basics. Know that China has weapons and being able to point out on a map where Iraq and Iran are.
And, then during the campaign we could have a Supreme Court type of group of journalists and historians, you know, the witty folks with knowledge; Chris Matthews and other like him. Yes, they would monitor everything and the first time someone made a statement such as, Watch out for China they're try to develop weapons, well, that person would be outta there.
Almost forgot, yes read in the press that Representative Paul told Trump to pound sand. Also it seems, that everyone running (except Santorum, Paul, Huntsman) have met with Trump at least once (Gingrich is meeting with him next week). Hey, maybe they go in and kiss his ring or something. Wow, yes, folks, all of this would be hard to make-up.