Thursday, March 7, 2013

How Do You Know if You're Really Married?

Hmmm. I guess that depends.
Yes, back to the old Catholics again, yes, the religion that just keeps giving.
As I best understand it, if you're Catholic and get married, that's it! Yep, you are married forever, can't get divorced and remarry. Well, not exactly.
Now, I think most of us would admit that it'd be great if folks could get married, stay married for the duration, never regret getting married, and live happily ever after. Folks, how often does this happen?
Now, I'm not going to go on and on about what folks can do to have a better chance of a marriage lasting and being happy. Naw, I'll save that for later.

Back to the Catholics. Not happy in your marriage, screwing around on your wife, fuckin' your neighbor or your secretary, want to move on to what's perceived as greener pastures, hey, no problem. Get an annulment. Get a what?
Yep, folks, just get an annulment.
When I was growing up, well...when I was younger we'd hear about kids getting an annulment. You know, they'd run away and get married and the parents would drag their asses into a court and the judge would annul the marriage. Not sure what the grounds for an annulment were, possibly something as minor and being a dumb ass and not realizing you were getting ready to screw up your life. Possibly underage. The thing that I think I remember is you couldn't drag your had to get to court pretty quickly after getting married.
Back to the Catholics. OK, so they've been married 35 years, and of course being good Catholics have eight kids. Yep, shared the same bed for 35 years.
The priest says, Well, you want an annulment, hey?
You know that an annulment says that the marriage never happened?
Yes, I understand, that's right, it never happened.
What about all the kids and such?
Well, what the does church usually do?
Looking down, the priest said, Well, you know we do charge by the kid.
With a short laugh he said, Hey, as long as that doesn't slow down the process.
Oh, no. The priest said, with a laugh. We're OK here. Sure, as far as the church is concerned as soon as you pay the ahh, annulment fee, hey, your marriage never happened, period.
Dang, I knew there was something I liked about this church.
Priest laughed, Hey, we can make most stuff go away, know what I mean.

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